he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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