It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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