My first STD was from a foam party
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
