i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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