he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize