we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
