If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
