Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
