I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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