I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
