Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
