I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
