He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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