just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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