1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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