hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
