..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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