I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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