just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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