i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
