So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
