This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
