i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So much rum. So many feels.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize