I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
