if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize