actually, I'm a sock model
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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