I just made out with a guy for $7.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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