nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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