so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
