In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
