I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
