Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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