There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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