I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
