I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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