we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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