Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
