Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
