you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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