I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
