Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
