yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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