Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
