Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
