I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
