she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
