I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
