he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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