woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
