It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Congratulations! We have a period
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize