So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
