Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
