Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
