some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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