I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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