U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize