The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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