Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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