Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize