I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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